Endings

A different kind of post, plan to do a few of these over the next few weeks just FYI. ;)

I have been thinking a lot about endings lately - with the light at the end of the tunnel (of my hike) visible.

I walked thru a long train tunnel, reminded me of endings...

And then I read a story about another veteran of Warrior Hike who told about how he started to feel again by the end of his hike. How he had become a bit numb to things around him. However, by the end of hiking the PCT, he would be overcome with emotions at times on the hike over a view or a comment etc. He got most emotional when he saw the 50 mile mark to the end. I still have three weeks to go, and yet here I am, thinking of the inevitable end. So I went online and googled 'quotes about ending'. I came up with this one.

I need to not focus on the end but all the good stuff that came before it, and just appreciate it for what it was

But before I saw that quote I had already thought about what with three weeks left to go, what has made an impression on me thus far in my hike. Here are the things I came up with.  (Not in an order of preference)

Material possessions will not make me happy. I hate trinkets, decorative things of no value, those things made by the masses and sold at at blank-mart. However, I cherish the things I get on my journeys. I have so many wonderful memories wrapped up into the keepsakes I get from my travels. I've seen the show hoarders... I'm not that, but a painting from a far back alley in China, a hand made vase from northern Wisconsin, a pair of ducks given to me from a Kazahkstani Soldier to wish me luck in finding my mate, I'll just say, if its on my shelf, it has a meaning and a memory. Just as what I carry in my pack is honed down, carefully chosen and must prove its value... So too are the things I carry with my in life. The 32 pounds on my back can sustain my life and in, dare I say, relative comfort. Of course only about 4 pounds of that is food and about 1 ounce is a magical thing called a credit card... Both of which when they run out would  force me back into the life of more. Funny... The life of less is actually harder in the long run than a life of more. Was it always this way?

People. Yep, I have always enjoyed peoples company... to a point. I am that weird introvert-extrovert mix where I need a bit of both people and a bit of solitude. Too much of either makes me worn out or feel out of the loop. I used to be more of an introvert, suspicious of things seemingly genuine. It took me a long time to be genuine back. It took a lot of courage to start opening myself up enough to do things like, ask for help, show I'm struggling, show any weakness at all... It still takes a little pep talk to myself. That change started before this trip, but this has shown me the absolute greatness, the positive things that complete strangers will do for another. I believe the people who are the most happy, their hearts are open and they radiate positive emotions. No, they are not an open book, (that person who immediately tells you their life story when you asked them to pass the salt) but they are not closed either, the first few pages of their book is open for anyone to easily start reading. I have met some them and they make the earth colorful and a better place to live in. It also seems they are more common than I would have ever imagined. I can only strive to be in that group one day.

Coincidences: I am not religious, I don't even know if I would qualify as spiritual.   But some of the coincidences in life seem too impossible to just happen on their own. How could it not have been part of some strange master plan? I don't know the answer, all I know is I live some sort of a charmed life. It's amazing. I have unbelievable timing in things, from losing my phone and gaining a place to stay, to being able to come on this hike in the first place. Fate, coincidence, destiny, or just an open mind to new chances and opportunities and then - key here - taking those opportunities and running with them. My life is exactly what I choose it to be. I often hear... "I wish I could do ---- I would, but I have-----" to those comments I often just nod and smile. But I fully believe if there is a will there is a way. If people truly wished for something they would find the way to make it happen, maybe not today, (it took me nine years to graduate college), but eventually. Things don't just plop into your lap very often - it does happen, but you still have to take that thing that plopped in front of you. It's not like I 'la la la-de-da' my way through life... I often end up taking the curvy 30 mile route compared to the straight 5 mile path.

So back to that quote about endings. Yes. Great things come to an end. I will have a lot of endings in my life. And many of them I will find sad. It will take me a little while to adjust to my new normal. The things I let my brain wonder to, to imagine, to dream of, to hope for, to maybe even pine over, they may never happen. But that next opportunity...... I'm ready to take it.

Bonus floofy word saying from one of my all-time favorite authors.